Some people think that I'm not normal because I have (not normal ideas), at least what they think is normal.
You're probably thinking, I'm into cutting and bondage, foot fetish, etc. NO, none of that. I believe that everyone should be able to love everybody and that nobody should belong to anybody, that isn't crazy is it? Of course I know that can't happen, because some people can't love and others won't love and some are so insecure in themselves that they just have to belong to somebody, believing that person will take care of them, now that person needs counseling, because you can't get your happiness from someone else, you have to find it in yourself first and then you can freely share it with others.
But I have been suicidal and I was scheduled to see a counselor today but canceled, feeling a little sick, caught some bug and I'm waiting on the air conditioning man.
But I have to honestly ask myself, where did my happiness go. Well I was fine until we went to war with Iraq and my happiness went right out the window. I'm not exactly sure why this war bothers me so much, and others just don't seem to care and I feel like I'm all alone, nobody cares but me. Having other obligations I cannot find the time to attend protests and keep my blogs updated and infiltrate the forums in hopes to educate people of the horrors of war and a need for peace and that's making things even more frustrating for me.
So I need a counselor, what the hell is a counselor going to do, she can't stop the war. Why this bothers me so much is a real mystery to me. It's not like I read all the articles and video clips sent to me. I'll read a sentence or two and then delete it because I don't want to hear anymore about it. I know we fucked up and we keep fucking up and we just don't seem to get it right and this ain't fucking brain surgery, it's just plain old simple common sense. DO UNTO YOUR NEIGHBORS AS WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU. It's about being fair, about being courteous, showing respect. Bombs just aren't very respectful these days, you wouldn't want to have one in your living room would you?
Anyways, in my current state of madness in need of counseling, I do appreciate all those who are patient with me. You keep smiling and I'll try to also. I have to learn to pray for those who suffer while I live here happily in the here and now and maybe a counselor can help me do that. I just might call and reschedule. It might seem selfish, but the truth is, IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY YOU WILL MAKE OTHERS UNHAPPY.
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at my place, come on over if you like. In any case my your holidays be stress free and blessed, remember you are truly an amazing unique spiritual creature 
and you are loved 
Sometimes we forget such thing 
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